For Lunch: Banana, Kimchi, and CRACK COCAINE!

It all makes sense now that I look back with some perspective.

It wasn't me, overly tired all this week because I couldn't sleep. It wasn't that the kids are just the same every day and do to increased stress my life seems to be getting more exhausting. I can't blame my poor sleeping habits anymore. I thought I was slipping farther behind and would eventually end up sleeping through an entire day, missing classes as I locked to door and hid in my completely dark bathroom. Now I know the truth, and the truth shall set me free.

They are feeding the kindergarden kids methamphetamines. Before you scoff and deny my accusation, I would like to present you my evidence:

1. Rotting teeth: Sure, you could blame the children's teeth on the fact that the water isn't laced with flouride, or that they don't drink anything containing calcium besides carbonated milk. Maybe it's the massive amounts of speed they are injesting are causing their teeth to rot.

2. Way too much energy: No kids should have the energy these kids do. If physically possible, I would be able to power the computer I am typing on by simply tapping half the energy output of a single class. Maybe the kids are excited to have a 5 day vacation, or maybe because they are taking lots of speed!

3. Increased violent behavior: I was beat up by a classroom of 5 year olds today without provocation. Normally it takes me a good amount of name calling or denying them their favorite storybook before I get hit repeatedly. Hmmm...maybe they needed another fix!

4. Excited speech: I don't know about you, but the last time I wanted to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" I did not start jumping up and down in a circle with excitement babbling incoherently. Of course, I don't actually remember the last time I wanted to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little star" when it wasn't related to this job, but the point remains, as that song is a total downer, and no one should be that happy to sing it.

Why would my school be pumping these kids full of illicit substances? Why are my hogwon students barely able to hold their heads up from exhaustion, yet these kindergarden children are able to run around Funnyland and never tire? I'm not sure, but this is the tip of the iceburg, I'm onto something...I'm sure of it. Stay tuned while I blow the lid off the Korean school conspiracy.