::A Geek in Korea::

I can’t stand dogs. I’ve never had any emotional attachment to a dog ever. If this makes me a cold heartless bastard, so be it. My family never purchased a dog in my childhood, seeing as all the outdoor pets we ever owned were quickly run over on the interstate road next to our house. We were never, ever permitted to have indoor pets other than fish, so the whole "animal empathy" emotional connection people have, I lack. I peeled far too many of my own pets off the side of the road for burial to care.

That being said, I did actually assist in the purchase of a canine today.

My father-in-law has been depressed recently since he’s been out of work. In a bid to cheer him up, my wife decided she was going to buy a dog today for his birthday. He has a long history of bringing animals home, only to be forced to give them up. Ironically enough, the last pet he tried to domesticate was a fowl of some sort while my wife still lived at home.  Due to her paralyzing fear of birds, my father-in-law’s last pet lasted only a day. He’s tried to get puppies in the past, but sadly his last dog ran away.

We went to the local pet stores to see what was in stock. At the second store, we happened across a shih tsu that caught our eye. My wife went into bargaining mode and happened to get the dog, food, a brush, a water bottle stand, shampoo, ear medicine, and bone chews for under the original price. The price of the dog didn’t bother me, nor did the idea of buying a gift for her father on his birthday. The simple fact that it was a dog did cause a lot of concern.

The agreement was that the dog was not going to stay at our house longer than a few hours today. It was a gift for her father, and we wouldn’t be keeping it. I also made her promise I didn’t have to take care of any of the dog’s business while it was with us. I don’t like cleaning up after anyone other than myself, and I only do that when absolutely necessary. I am not, by any sense of the words, a "dog person".

We hailed a taxi driver by hiding the dog in my wife’s arms as I waved. Since the dog was so small, we didn’t have any problems. By the time we got out of the taxi, my wife was already talking about keeping the puppy.

She and I both had never had a dog before. We needed to keep the dog at our house until we could both bring it over to her father’s place later in the evening. I made a barricade in the veranda that must have seemed huge to the tiny puppy. We found some old tennis balls for it to play with. We got the water bottle set up, fed it, and played with it before going to work.

The entire time, I had this gnawing feeling of loathing, as I knew that every second that dog stayed in our house, it was going to be more difficult to pry it out of my wife’s hands to give away. The dog passed the noise test, as it never barked, it was fairly cute, and it didn’t eat much. The only variable would be what it would do when we were both away at work. How much would it destroy?

My wife tried bargaining with me. She said she was going to keep it, and take the entire responsibility of taking care of it. Then she defiantly declared she was going to keep it despite her previous promises to me otherwise. She said she wanted more time to adjust to having a dog, seeing if she liked it. I caught her starting to use "puppy talk" in her language. I stood firm and denied every opportunity for the dog to stay. It was not staying in the house tonight.

I felt bad doing it, and it’s not because of the dog either.

My wife has told me about her desperately poor childhood. She didn’t have enough food to eat from day to day, let alone have enough money to ever have a dog. She always wanted to own a dog, as it was a sign that you were rich enough to pay for not only yourself, but a pet as well. It was a sort of status she never had before, and here I was asking her to give it up after only a few hours.

By the time I went to work, she and I had text messaged each a few times. I listed out the numerous reasons why pet ownership is not a good idea for us. I had second and third opinions from the people at work and multiple Internet sources about the breed. We purchased the dog with no real insight on what it takes to raise a dog, and the more I read, the more I thought, "Hell no. I’m not doing anything of that."

I had to be the rock in the storm of puppy cuteness.

I won out in the end, and we headed over to her parent’s apartment after work with the dog. By the time we got there, her father was already asleep, so we basically woke him up and stuck a puppy in his face. He liked the gift, or so I was told his reaction was something of pleasure. The man is makes Spock look passionate, so I don’t know if he was overjoyed or not. The comment out of his mouth was uttered by everyone in the receiving household," What about the fur?"

The real test happens to be the mother-in-law. She liked it "well enough" I suppose, but I don’t know what to expect the next time I see the house. This woman cleans up enough at home, and adding a puppy seems like it will just add to her dervish of cleaning responsibilities. She did seem to enjoy playing with the puppy. Of course, playing with this puppy means walking around cleaning up after it while the dog tried to bite her Achilles tendon. (Aww, it’s trying to make me crippled! How cute!)

If I had to do it over again, i would not buy a dog as a surprise gift ever again. The chance that her family could have rejected the gift seemed high, and this was one deal we couldn’t get a refund on. Also, the more my wife played with the dog, the more she wanted her own, or to keep it for herself. Plus, it’s a dog, and those things stink. The probability that this dog will take up residence at my abode in the future is almost guaranteed. I just know we’re going to end up with this dog on our hands, and I want none of it. Visitation is much, much better. If her parents had any inklings of an empty nest before, let it be filled with the dog. I can only hope.

I just want a house that doesn’t smell like fecal matter. Is that so much to ask?